LeeAnne: No One Forced Brandi, Stephanie, or Cary to Be Around Me

"Don’t you think, at some point, at least one of them would have said 'I’m uncomfortable?' and decided not to come around me? Any normal person would, but they aren’t actually afraid — that’s why." 

It’s finally REUNION TIME. After the last 12 weeks, I just want to say a huge “thank you” to everyone who took the time to find me on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and offered me support and kindness! You have no idea how much it lifted my dark days and allowed me to smile through some seriously troubling moments. I thought I had learned a lot last season, but I think I learned even more this time around. And I learned it right in front of and with all of you. 

Let’s jump right it into the beginning of this, with the whole Branphanie fight. Over the summer, I would have fought hard to convince you that this fight between Brandi and Stephanie was real and was super painful for Brandi. With hindsight, I honestly question it all. Like Brandi says, a lot of things went into her argument with Stephanie – and I question if Stephanie knows all the reasons for Brandi’s resentment. 

For Steph to say that she felt like I was "attacking" her in her home by wearing the costume to Halloween is just made up. I went to her during the party and apologized to her before we even got started. Her use of aggressive words to describe me wearing a costume needs to stop. In today's world, we need to think twice before making fun of violence and start being real about it. Why is it okay for her to be "mortified" when she said she didn’t care that I had a flesh eating bacteria (while she was clearly NOT on medication or alcohol), but if I say something that horrifies me about one of them, it is inexcusable? The #DoubleStandards are off the chain, but that isn’t news to anyone who has been watching this season.

PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a mental disorder that develops after a person is exposed to a traumatic event. For instance: sexual assault, domestic violence, rape, child abuse — all of which I have suffered. PTSD causes an increase in a human’s “fight or flight” response. For me, someone who is unwilling to be beaten down again, I go with the fight response. A person with PTSD is at a higher risk for suicide, which I have attempted, and self-harm, which is how I have spent most of my life. Most people who are affected by PTSD come from an assault-based incident. Did I ever want to share this information with these women? No. Could you blame me? No. But after speaking to a behavioral specialist, who works with victims of rape and sexual assault, I finally understood that it is a reaction in me that is very difficult to control. I am blessed to have Rich in my life; he also suffers from PTSD. Together, we work on our triggers and bring peace to one another. The girls trying to act like this is just an excuse is frankly disgusting.  

“Surprise! She has it, too!” I don’t have to point it out that Brandi said this as condescendingly as possible. So, when I said to Brandi, "Be careful," I was simply trying to ask her not to speak disparagingly about PTSD, especially since I knew her brother tried to take his life only a year ago. I thought, incorrectly, that after dealing with this disorder that maybe she would be sensitive to it. I was wrong. So, when she blatantly claimed that I am NOT someone who cares about people with PTSD, I wasn’t surprised.

I know there are some who think Kameron is acting, but let me tell you: you are wrong. I get it, though; she is a unicorn, and you don’t come across those often. Trust me, she is as magical and wonderfully delightful as she appears on camera. I am a huge fan of Kameron, not just because she has consistently had my back, but because she genuinely makes me laugh and feel happy. PINK HAPPY!! I trust her, and I love her genuineness. Kameron doesn’t look down her nose at Brandi. Brandi is overly sensitive when it comes to being around people who grew up differently. Her insecurities make her uncomfortable, so she attacks first (hence, “Big Bird” being her first words toward Kameron at the reunion). 

Having three of my fellow Housewives say they are nervous to be around me is the same as watching the three of them lie. The more intense they can make my actions APPEAR to be, the greater control they think they have over my future in this group. Honestly, no one forced these girls to be around me. They would show up and be with me, attend events with me, and be in my friend circle - all of their own accord. Don’t you think, at some point, at least one of them would have said "I’m uncomfortable?" and decide not to come around me? Any normal person would, but they aren’t actually afraid - that’s why.

My other two Housewives clearly think it’s a joke. When Cary lies about the "killing each other" joke and then follows it up with, “Well, it’s neither here nor there,” it just shows the lengths they will go to in order to be right — which includes lying. And then, when they flashback to Austin, did any of you hear, “I’m going to gut you, Marie?” N-O. Because. I never. Said it. Then, when Steph chimed in saying that every time it’s been really scary with me, it was because I thought I wasn’t mic’d? Umm. What? Clearly, I knew I was mic’d at the white party. And why is SHE talking about what happened at the doctors? She wasn’t even there. Finally, D’Andra is right. It is about my vernacular - not actual threats. It’s still something I have to change, don’t get me wrong. But she put it perfectly. Thank goodness someone has enough sense to see that. 

Let’s talk about the surgery scene. Has Cary called Brandi a liar? Yes. Did Brandi lie about what Cary said about her doctor in Plano? No. Cary did, in fact, say that Brandi’s doctor had killed someone on his table. The fact that it was technically not ON his table doesn’t matter. Just because Andy read Brandi’s blog doesn’t mean it was the truth. Please notice that I don’t even remember being butt naked! I was heavily medicated, and I was fighting the sedation — all of this was making me more agitated. 

I was not surprised when Brandi said that she didn’t believe I was trying to get better. Then, she tossed out the word "pattern" after D’Andra had clearly just pointed out there wasn’t one, which just shows their efforts to push me out. Steph was pretty silly when she chimed in saying that it is a "psychological term." This is the same woman who asked her husband if his dyslexia affected his brain. Um, yeah. Good job. 

I walked away for one reason: I was upset because I had no idea he was going to be there. It was a closed set. Surprise! Mark went through hair and makeup, got all mic’d up, and got Reunion ready. Should he have had the opportunity to come and address how he treats his child and wife on camera? Totally. But I would have liked a head’s up. 

Stay tuned, everyone. I am sure that Part 2 will go sideways. It’s becoming their favorite sport to throw me under the bus, so you’re in for it. What should we name it? BusTossing? TheBlameGame? Please tweet me your funny names, so I can at least go to bed laughing, ha!

Love to you all! 

XoXo

#LoveLeeAnne

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LeeAnne Locken

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